Catsup? That's Bullshit!

By the time I was around ten, I unknowingly developed a sense of what I thought were normal, everyday staples in the household pantry. I had every reason to believe everybody drank and ate the same thing. 
Sure I noticed other products when my Ma hauled me off to the town Kroger store. Or the little IGA at the south end of the city limits, which was only used for last minute things she ran out of. But those products were surely meant for other people, people I didn't know.

We were pretty much Canada Dry Ginger Ale and 7-Up folks. And rarely had that unless somebody came down with an upset stomach, or as the odd "treat" with a scoop of ice cream.
Sure, we had the seltzers and club sodas  as mixers for the neighborhood get-togethers. But if I had any sort of grasp for class differences at that age, to me, Coca-Cola was pretty white collar. Pop for the affluent.

Pepsi was, well, Pepsi. I didn't see the sense of it. Why Pepsi when there was Coke. I couldn't figure out who drank it or why. Samuel's, the town's largest restaurant, and where my Ma brought me for a hotdog when Pop was on business, served Coke. Case closed.

Tab was a little shi-shi. It was fairly new in the late 60s. I saw it in it's 6-pack carton in many a family's breezeway. Kind of a fancy, crappier Coke. Royal Crown? See Pepsi. And Towne Club? That's what big Catholic family's drank.
And then the town's A&W came along and broke the mold. Not only could you hoist this big mug of tasty root beer from over your Dad's shoulder as he hands it to you in the back seat (without spilling it), you can take that shit home in a plastic gallon jug.

Condiments? My Ma used Hellman's mayonnaise for most everything related to sandwiches. You knew immediately when you took a bite from a tuna sandwich at your buddy's house, that their Mom used Miracle Whip, and you weren't gonna finish that sandwich. Here is a helpful kitchen hint: When making tuna salad. Don't add so much mayo to it that it gets soupy. That's not good. Nor does it make for a pleasant presentation. And don't add foreign crap like pickles, pickle relish, onions or celery. Add those as seperate layers but don't muck up a good thing. Tuna and Hellman's. That's all you need.

French's yellow mustard. Nobody else came close. In fact, there wasn't anybody else. The same two issues for egg salad apply here. Don't add so much mustard and mayo that the egg chunks are swimming. And again, stop with the foreign matter. Pickles and the like. Keep it a clean egg salad and your family will keep coming back for more.

Finally, and for good reason, Hunt's Catsup. No need for it now, no need for it then. Hunt's will always suck hind teat to Heinz. Always!