Thursday, April 22, 2010

MRI: May Result in Insanity



I bet this must be like some psychological testing they did on astronauts in the fifties, cause if NASA needed a weeding out process, this would have been a key component.

They begin by asking if you are at all claustrophobic. They then hand you a bulb to squeeze which alerts the technician if the experience becomes intolerable (like being slid into a tube not much wider than a toilet bowl could possibly be something akin to a picnic). "Oh" he says, "and take these ear plugs, its gonna get a little loud."

I'm slowly rolled in the chamber with little to no room for movement and my nose millimeters away from ceiling. There is what looks like a small speaker directly in front of my face and I'm thinking why do I need a bulb when I can simply scream for them to get me the hell out.
So I test it by asking how long the procedure lasts...no reply.

Its quiet until I hear little tapping noises. I imagine an elf like figure, walking around the machine, hammering away at last minute repairs and then EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Just loud as hell. Thanks for the earplugs buddy, I think I would have fared better with a full-face motorcycle helmet. And then it stopped.
More light tapping. Must have rattled as few bolts loose off that last run ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ EEEEEEEEEEEEERtttttttttttttttttttRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Okay, okay, this has gone on just a little too long and I'm starting to formulate an exit route just in case that bulb hasn't received any recent maintenance checks.

They really ought to think about taking a few of these babies down to Guantanamo.

credits:
Museum of History and Industry, Seattle Washington

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