Thursday, February 25, 2010

Hollywood Hi-Lights

While this isn't totally uncharted territory for me, I'll absolutely take this opportunity to not leave well enough alone. Just a sec, let me put this smoke out.

I'm just asking here, but couldn't they have just stopped at skinny? No, of course not. Somebody always feels compelled to take it, at least for now, one step further. Of course, OF COURSE I'm alluding to Jeggings, or denim inspired leggings for the uninitiated and/or others who have already stopped reading this.

Someone, somewhere must have thought a void needed to be filled. "The market is yearning for this" someone shouted from ontop of their garage. "We need to develop something so thin, so tight, that you can actually see the femoral artery pulsate." Sheezus, where have I been?

Beside the fact that, as minute a craze as this may be, chances are good you're gonna see someone/somewhere who probably, by somebody's standards, shouldn't really be wearing them (not excluding the one half of one percent of the population that maybe could). These women of bone and corpuscles should have their own store. Kind of like Lane Bryant for the invisible.

One more quick thing cuz I need to waste a little more of your time but, at some point, we will all want to know who, who I say, shall rise above, to be courted by thousands, potentially scoffed at by millions, who will lay claim to coining the corny?
What was so bad about denim inspired leggings for Pete's sake?
Guys don't dink around. Here you've got a jacket that looks like a shirt...SHIRT JACKET, boom!
Skort wasn't brilliant either. Sounds too much like scortched and wort.
I myself prefer the term culotte, er, whatever.

I predict, and you heard it here first folks, that someday, someone will actually bond a jean-like fabric directly to the skin, so that there is absolutely no possible way for there to be any less room between skin and fabric, because the skin IS essentially the fabric. And they shall be called...Skeans!


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